If starting my first blog post with the words “my first blog post” is cringe-y and the embarrassingly wrong thing to do, then I feel this first introduction will serve as shorthand for my readers to understand who I am and what I am all about.
I’m married to my college sweetheart and have been a stay-at-home mother since my oldest was born. In the beginning, our world was small and safe with just the challenges of meeting everyone’s daily needs but not much else. However, now that my kids are aged 11, 9, and 6, I can sense there’s been a paradigm shift. The kids’ problems are getting more complex and we have all school-aged kids but, sadly, no new baby to bridge us to that type of parenting. It’s nice to sleep in on weekends and I don’t miss diapers, but it’s very unsettling to be suddenly so unnecessary. I know we have time until they all fly the nest, but I felt as though this stage needed a title and “unfinished” sort of fits—we’re definitely veteran parents now but we’ve still got a ways to go.
I also heard this wonderful metaphor once about God chipping away at our rough edges and always smoothing, shaping, and polishing to turn us into His masterpiece. Well, if everyone else is a beautiful work in progress, then I’m an unyielding monolith that breaks all of his best tools. Trust me when I say this is not the scrupulous humility of a saint but rather keen self-awareness brought on by multiple opportunities for spiritual growth that have been squandered or simply missed. We’ve dealt with all kinds of things: my son’s life-threatening illness, the sudden death of my husband’s mother and then mine, taking care of my disabled father. It did help me grow in some ways, but it didn’t automatically confer me with wisdom or spiritual depth like I thought it would. In fact, in some ways it has shone a spotlight on my shortcomings. But as long as God is still working on me and I’m on this side of the dirt, I’m only unfinished and still filled with potential.
On a lighter note, I am The Unfinished Mama because my life is a series of loose ends. I’m known to start projects only to orphan them halfway through. I leave emails unanswered, the dishwasher half unloaded, laundry forgotten in baskets throughout the house, cabinet doors and drawers left open and so much more. My kids have to ask me repeatedly if they need something signed, mended, purchased, looked over etc. otherwise it’s not getting done. My husband playfully suggested I could be the “Hot Mess Mama” after I rattled off all of those facts. After careful consideration, I went with “unfinished” to spare a potential reader the misfortune of scandalous Google results. You’re welcome.
Despite my many shortcomings and some glaring failures, I still have time left with my kids to be the best mother I can be. I also can rest assured in the knowledge that God has not given up and is still working on me daily. Maybe a lot of those chores and responsibilities will remain unfinished but I work hard every day to do what is truly important. As my father likes to say, nobody knows if it’s been a good life until they close the box on you (we’re Italian, so drama is our preferred medium in everything) so it ain’t over till it’s over. I won’t call myself a failure, I’m just unfinished.