We’ve once again taken up the task of cleaning out old toys that the children have outgrown.
This happens here from time to time, but my middle daughter, who is turning 10 this year, has decided it is time to part with many of her childish toys, including the previously treasured Shopkins.
When the girls were little, they collected the tiny anthropomorphic food which meant that they also constantly fought over whose was whose.
As we were packing the toys up, both girls still remembered which belonged to them, but it didn’t really matter anymore–they were all destined for the donation bin.
It occurred to me then that so many tears had been shed, so many fights had erupted, and so much anger had come between them for these things which were now so easily and dispassionately cast aside.
Over the next couple of days, I made sure to point out this perspective to both of them because I think it is something we all forget (lest you think I’m always good with these “teachable moments,” I’ll point to the fact that this is the first time I’ve done something like this that is worthy of a blog post).
The things that are so important to us now, so worth fighting over, in the end become meaningless, worthless junk.
The relationships that are soured, or at the very least afternoons that are spoiled, are done so in puruit of something that ultimately matters far less than the person with whom you are fighting.
I don’t know if it sank in for them, but it certainly gave me a wake up call.
Being a mom, it’s hard to not get caught up in the minutiae of the kids’ misbehavior, but maybe like the Shopkins, there are things that seem to matter so much now but which will be meaningless once they’ve grown up and moved away.
It’s not to say that they should be able to get away with not doing their chores, cleaning their room, doing homework etc., but that maybe I should choose my battles and tactics with a little more intentionality.
Someday, before I know it, the kids will be gone. The bathroom drawers will remain closed, nobody’s Legos will be underfoot, and I’ll never have to tell another soul to brush their teeth or go to bed.
Just like the Shopkins, the things we fought over now will be completely meaningless, and all that we’ll have left when the concerns of the day have reached their expiration date are the relationships we nurtured with one another.
And that’s the most important thing in the world.
